Horton never heard it coming

My LJ post on this shock discovery is pithier, but I have reason to be so irate.

Part of the appeal of Ted “Dr Seuss” Geisel’s work is the distinct and idiosyncratic art style that accompanied the text. The slightly wonky, fisheye perspectives, the fanciful landscapes and creatures that populated them, and a general cushiony feel that softened the — now I reflect on it — often hard lessons taught. It was a style that was imagination made flesh.

Unfortunately, the money men have decided that it’s time that Horton got an update — and a 3D makeover. This, frankly, angers me. Why in all the circles of Hell (including this one, the Zeroth) does everything have to be a) computer animated and b) 3D and c) voiced by insensitive big-name assholes!?

Besides, this feels like a skit turned into an opera. It’s guaranteed to bewilder the current generation of imagination-deficient consumers, who will find the original book and turn its pages with increasing disorientation and bewilderment since they lack the cognitive skills to associate Seuss’ Horton with Big Entertainment’s version. It’s guaranteed to come with a diarrhea of tie-in merchandise. And, as you’ve guessed, it’s guaranteed to offend us nostalgiasaurs who should really just shut up and die and pave the way for the next wave of mentally insipid bipeds to contentedly graze on increasingly watered-down and culturally deficient entertainment.

Posted in Randomness (,) by R Cruickshank Mar 6, 06:32 AM Tags: , , , ,

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Go ahead, tell granpaw to shaddap, ya little ignorami

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